The League of Valor - Tortheldrin-US

Darkheelmet Meets Kirika


Darkheelmet: /fishing in the canals in the Dwarvin District of Stormwind.

Kirika: /walks by wearing a swimming outfit.

Darkheelmet: I guess you really don't want a fish from or to swim in Stormwind canals.
All I keep catching is A Sickly Fish.

Kirika: OK, so totally not my fault....

Darkheelmet: Hum?

Kirika: There was some extra, umm...left over, Enchantment materials that got a bit loose in my pack while I was watering my Drake in the canal.
And maybe there was some Scorpid meat that was sorta forgotten about, for four years, in the pack too.
But hey, the Gnome Warlocks liked it, they were skinny dipping in the, ummm, fallout.
Then a bunch of PETA jerks showed up.
They were like all, "Save the fish!!!"
So, I fed them to my crows, heh.
They became bird dirt, HAH!
But, then my crows kinda pooped into the canals.....
So, yeah, totally not my fault.

Darkheelmet: Well if that is why Stormwind waters are so bad, I would hate to see what Orgrimmar looks like.

Kirika: OK, so Orgrimmar was, like, completely not my fault....

Darkheelmet: Oh, no...

Kirika: So I get an order for six thousand metric tons of Goblin Rocket Fuel from, yeah you guessed it, Thrall himself.
What does he want with that much, hell if I know or care, it’s easy gold for me.
So I knock out the order and load it all on my Bronze Drake.
OK, so yeah, it’s over weight, but I don't give a shit and she can still fly.... mostly.
But, how was I supposed to know that the Horde had just declared war on the Bronze Dragonflight?
So due to totally stupid, lame, retarded, but surprisingly accurate anti-aircraft artillery covering the sky’s over Orgrimmar, my drake sorta, umm, fell into the city ravine and, umm, kinda leaked the fuel.
I tried to soak it up, but only cloth I had was my Alliance Battle Standard.
Yeah.....Horde didn't like seeing that.
But hey, Orcs got green blood, so now they have green rivers!
That tends to spontaneously ignite at random.
So, yeah, again with PETA.... Fed them to my crows... You can figure the rest.
OH, and Thrall never paid me, so if you see him, hit him up for me, 'kay?

Darkheelmet: So this entire Alliance verses Horde war is your fault?

Kirika: Um...... oops.

Darkheelmet: And I'm guessing you had something to do with Gnomeregan?

Kirika: Oh hell, don't blame the radioactive explosions, from my twenty three previous attempts at making a functioning Sky Golem, contaminating Old Gnomeregan on me!
I had, totally, nothing to do with that.
Don't even go there.

Darkheelmet: So I'm guessing the giant dragon that destroyed half of Stormwind, the Stonewrought Dam, and split open half the world had nothing to do with you or any toxic stuff you happened to lose.

Kirika: Sheesh, so I tried to tame a dragon.
Hunters tame pets.
Deal with it.

Darkheelmet: Oh...No way...

Kirika: Hehe, I was never so grateful for Aspect of the Cheetah, that dumbass dragon chased me across two continents.

Darkheelmet: Remind me to let King Varian Wrynn know who he can send the rebuild bills too.

Kirika: Bah, Stormwind...
You would think the Stormwind guards would cover my ass when I ran through the gates with a dragon on my tail.
Oh no, cowards ran down to the friggen docks and dove in.
Like they had never seen a dragon before.... pricks.
Hell, their queen was a friggen dragon!
I know!
I killed her ass!
Twice!

Darkheelmet: Why didn't you try and tame her?

Kirika: Phiff... Her dragon model skin was like so... normal.
I wanted a dragon pet with that totally rad, undead on-fire steel-plate skin.

Darkheelmet: But Deathwing didn't agree to your wish to become your pet, eh?

Kirika: ..........Dragons suck.
Anyway, that's why I only hang out in the Dwarvin District here in Stormwind.

Darkheelmet: Maybe you should go back to Darnassus.

Kirika: Umm......... can't.

Darkheelmet: Dare I ask?

Kirika: OK, so in all of Teldrassil, there are trees and plants and trees and more trees and all things that are trees and plants and that are not metal.
Hello, I'm an engineer.
I need metal!
So I go looking for some steady sources of raw material to engineer my thingies with, but I need something to work with.
I get some tools from a traveler...
Ok, I relinquished some tools from a traveler.........
Alright, I killed his ass and looted an axe and pick!
Anyway, so of course to try and dig for ore, I need to clear away some of the local growth.
I start hacking away at a large tree that was in the way of a totally plausible site of much precious ore that was most definitely there.
Now I completely blame that bitch whore priestess who taught school and cracked my knuckles with a ruler in class every day for NOT telling me that the whole damn island of Teldrassil is a big giant friggen tree!

Darkheelmet: You....

Kirika: Yeah..... I kinda cut down Teldrassil.

Darkheelmet: Wow... just, wow...
Why not stay in Iron Forge, or did you wear out your welcome there?
King Magni Bronzebeard found out about you and the Stonewrought Dam?

Kirika: Well, Iron Forge is...
How should I say it......
Dull.

Darkheelmet: Hah! I knew it.

Kirika: The dwarves can be a bitch.... tough and stringy, hard to butcher.

Darkheelmet: ....... uh....

Kirika: You really have to tenderize their meat for, like days, in order to even be able to chew it.
And hair..... Damn....
There is hair EVERYWHERE... and more on the women.
What hair doesn't get on you and everything you own, get wafted into the forge.
Fifty millions pounds of hair, burning day and night.
So you can't eat them, they stink, and you go through like thrity Magic Lint brushs a day.
I mean, really, the only thing Iron Forge has going for it is their breeding stock of Gnomes.

Darkheelmet: Wait, what?

Kirika: Gnomish UPW.

Darkheelmet: UPW??

Kirka: Unlimited Punting Works!

Darkheelmet: What? I'm a gnome!

Kirika: Yup.
/punt Darkheelmet into the canal.

Darkheelmet: /SPLASH
Damn it girl, /glub, I'll, /glub, get, /sploosh...... /blurp.

Kirika: HAHAHAHAHA, THAT SHIT NEVER GETS OLD!!!

Stormwind Guard 1: HALT, combat in the city is a crime!
Stormwind Guard 2: HALT, combat in the city is a crime!
Stormwind Guard 3: HALT, combat in the city is a crime!
Stormwind Guard 4: HALT, combat in the city is a crime!
Stormwind Guard 5: HALT, combat in the city is a crime!
Stormwind Guard 6: HALT, combat in the city is a crime!

Kirika: Ah, crap...
/cast Aspect of the Cheetah
Feet don't fail me now...
/run
What's that ahead... a portal!
/Use Portal: Pandaria

Pandarian NPC: Welcome to Pandaria, Night Elf.

Kirika: Ooooooooh.... someplace, new.... heh.


/end

--
"If you fear the heart of darkness, make way!"
Kirika, of the Noir

............. A few weeks later...........


/LOC: Swamp of Sorrows
Darkheelmet: /Fishing
/Fishing Catch: Catch Bloodied Skull
Darkheelmet: Hum, that makes the tenth Bloodied Skull I have fished up here.

/Portal: Mage Portal opens nearby with an explosive blast, belching sparks and smoke.
Kirika and Alakar appear, Alakar covered in soot.

Kirika: See, I told you it would work, ain't nothin' a liberal dusting of High Explosive Gun Powder can't tweak.

Alakar: [cough cough cough] Wow, you're [wheeze] right!
My Portal Spell is now able to [cough] port to wherever I [cough] wish.
Yes, [cough] I do say this is indeed [cough] worth five thousand gold.
/Trade: Give Kirika - 5000 Gold

Kirika: Pleasure doing business with you.
Please do keep me in mind for future purch.... Wait, isn't that Harris Pilton sunbathing topless over there ????
Kirika: /Point over yonder

Alakar: Wah?
/Turn to look

Kirika: /Target - Alakar
Kirika: /Cast Aimed Shot
Kirika: Oooooooooohh, crit-baby!! That had to hurt.

/Alakar is dead

Kirika: /Loot Alakar - Kirika receives 2306 Gold.
Yeah, I thought you had more gold... Cha-ching!
Kirika: /Shove Alakar into Swamp of Sorrow

Darkheelmet: Well I think that explains the Bloodied Skulls.... sigh.

Kirika: Huh?
OH, heyahs shorty, didn't see you there, you being short and all.
Hey, did you see his face? It was all, BLARRGHARRGH.
I ain't never had the Harris Pilton distraction fail.... may have to start doing that in raid groups.
So, you still fishing, I see.

Darkheelmet: Trying, so far no fish, just...
/Points to pile of skulls
Your fault, I take it?

Kirika: Hey, I gotta have a place to hide the bodies.

Darkheelmet: I don't think even Arthas had this many bodies to deal with.

Kirika: Ok, so it, absolutely, wasn't my fault....

Darkheelmet: I sort of thought you were going to say that.

Kirika: So I'm totally minding my own business one night, not taking pot shots at the Goblin Zeppelins over Stranglethorn....
Which is another totally cool story, hehehe, but that later...
Anyway my Jeeves starts up on it's own and emits this light beam.
Inside the light beam is this little blue demon looking dude.
The blueberry starts talking...
"Our star ship is approaching you planet, but we are having trouble activating the descent and landing sequences. Our engineer was afflicted by Space Herpes and has passed away into the light. Our scans determined you are a great engineer. Help us, Kirika, you're our only hope."
So, I'm like, "What the hell is a Space Herpe?"
They respond, by looping the last part of the message repeatedly.

Darkheelmet: Well a Space Herpe is this little bug-maggot-rat looking thi...

Kirika: ANYWAY...
I decide, what the hey, I ain't got nothin' important going on and need to run for the zone anyways.
So I sez "OK" and a portal opens up, I jump through, and appear on their ship.
So it's this big ginormiss space city ship thingy populated by these blue demon looking dudes with a tentacle thing going on and these 2D glowing wallhanger people.
I see they got loads of gems and precious metals scattered everywhere, so I makes them an arrangement.

Darkheelmet: Much like the "arrangement" you just had with that mage, eh?

Kirika: [cough]....
Anyway, so they show me to the flight controls.
It looks completely like all other flight controls I've used, so I figure; No big deal.
Now, how was I supposed to know that their stupid flight control system DIDN'T recognize "Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A" as a totally legit, and not a cheat, way to start up their landing sequence?
So due to their completely unconvincingly feeble controls, I ... um...

Darkheelmet: ".....kinda, crashed Exodar...", right?

Kirika: Well it didn't help that it was also a no-fly zone, you know.
So, yeah... lots of bodies I had to hide that day.
And all that engine goo got everywhere, real nasty mutagen....
PETA shows up.... you know the rest.

Darkheelmet: Wow.... The more I learn about you, the more I wish I hadn't.
So, besides looting him, why did you just kill that mage?
I would think you would profit more from repeat business.

Kirika: Well, I........................................................
............. never thought of it that way.

Darkheelmet: /Un-equips Fishing Pole
Darkheelmet: /Stand
Ok, I'm ready.

Kirika: Huh?

Darheelemt: This is where you punt me right?

Kirika: Huh, err.. nah, I got some thinking to do.

Darkheelmet: Oh, good.
Darkheelmet: /Equips Fishing Pole
Darkheelmet: /Sit
/Cast: Fishing

Kirika: But hey, if you're offerin'...
/Punt Darkheelmet into Swamp of Sorrows.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

Darkheelmet: Alas poor Alakar, I knew him... not very well.
/splash


/end

--
"If you fear the heart of darkness, make way!"
Kirika, of the Noir

Time marches on....


/LOC: Outland - Draenor, Zangarmarsh, Umbrafen Lake - Steam Pump Station #42

Darkheelmet: /Fishing
/Write - Journal Entry, "Perhaps, by porting off-world, I can get some peace, quiet, and some fishing skill ups."
/Skill Fishing Catch - Partially Digested Sea Weed
Or, it seems I'll just keep catching these weeds.

/Portal: Mage Portal opens nearby with an explosive blast, belching sparks and smoke.
Alakar appears, covered with soot.
[cough cough cough] Ah, I made it [cough]
Kafa-Crazed Mountain Goat appears from portal.
[cough] Check that, almost made it! AAAAHHHHH!

Darkheelmet: /Cast Death Coil - Kafa-Crazed Mountain Goat
Kafa-Crazed Mountain Goat is dead.
Please tell me that screwy Night Elf isn't behind you.

Alakar: [cough] No and thanks.
I was questing in Kota Peak, where I was tasked with tracking down mountain goats and picking through their droppi.....
....err, well lets just say I over pulled and got a bit over my head.
Only good thing from my previous encounter with said screwy Night Elf was that gun powder portal trick.
So, thanks again... Oh, wait, your that gnome who rezzed me that day.

Darkheelmet: Yeah, I sorta of followed your corpse into the swamp unintentionally.
So I decided to rez you while I was down there.

Alakar: Well, thank you very much friend. If I can every help you in the future please give me a....
OH MY, HORDE!
/points at small group of Tauren Grimtotem tribe approaching.

Darkheelmet and Alakar draw weapons.

Magatha Grimtotem: Stay your steel, Alliance, we mean you no harm.
We are seeking one who is not of your races.
/Magatha hold up a crude drawing, almost as if made by a child, of a stick figure with a menacing jagged toothy face and long ears.
Please, Alliance, if you see this terrible one, send us word.
Pray we are quick to respond, for it's evil could be unchecked and fall upon your races as it did ours.

Alakar: Um... OK... If we see, um, THAT, we will call you.

Magatha: /bow
Thank you, my lady, we bid you fair well.
/Tauren Grimtotem party leaves.

Alakar: ...Lady???

Darkheelmet: Well your Mage robes, they do look....

Alakar: I do get that a lot.
I need a tux.
So, I saw you fishing when I ported in here, any luck?

Darkheelmet: /equips Fishing Rod
So far, only weeds....
/Cast
I'm hopeful things will improve.

Alakar: Oh! Your bobber... You got a bite!

Darkheelmet: Wow, your right...
[grunt] This is a big one...[grunt]
Hey, I'm... yeah, I'm going to need some help.
[grunt]

Alakar grabs onto Darkheelmet's fishing pole.
The pair begin to reel the catch in.

/Skill Fishing Catch - Kirika

Alakar: It's...

Darkheelmet: Cut the line.

Alakar: It's her!

Darkheelmet: Cut the line!

Alakar: Eeeeww, shes dead!

Darkheelmet: CUT THE LINE!!!

Kirika: They gone?

Alakar AAAAAAHHH!! GHOST!

Darkheelmet: ... why didn't you cut the line.....

Kirika: WHHEEEEW!! Haha, glad you pulled me up, was running out of air....
Feign Death For the WIN!
That 'ell teach those cows not to hunt The Hunter!
/flex
Oh, heyahs!
It's shorty and the cute guy!

Alakar: I.... I'm?

Kirika: Yah yah, cute... sorry about killing you last time, that wuz the old me.

Alakar: Huh?

Darkheelmet: ... line, to cut, it would have been so easy...

Kirika: Yeah, yeah, shorty there done showed me the error in my ways.
I now strive to get repeat business!

Alakar: Oh?

Kirika: Yup!
Here, tell yah what, have some of my latest culinary creation, on the house!
/Use: Great Super Tasty, Totally Non-harmful, Nom Noms Table.

Alakar: Oooohh food!
/eats
So, [munch] why where you hiding from those Tauren?
/eats

Darkheelmet: ... I'd even let you use my rune sword...

Kirika: OK, so it, defiantly wasn't my fault...

Alakar: Oh?
/eat

Kirika: So, like shorty had told me, I should try to get repeat business and I had just heard that Thunder Bluff was going to have an annual celebration of harvest.
So, I'm like, I bet I can make some gold and maybe make some cows happy enough to let me do it again.
I find out they are running low on chefs, and hey, I can cook!
So I whip up my best banquet, the "Great Super Tasty, Totally Non-harmful, Nom Noms Table"
And it's a total hit, they LUV it.
They eat, like every single one, I could make.
So many, in fact, I run outa meat for the noms... and they want more!
So, "Repeat Business", I gotta get some more meat.

Darkheelmet: ... it would have cut the line with no effort...

Alakar: [munch] So, what did you do?
/eat

Kirika: I'm in a panic...
Like, where can I find enough meat to feed all of Thunder Bluff and right now.
Then it hits me.
Those Forsaken make those big ass brutes called Abominations outa all sorts of body parts.
They must have meat!!
So I jump a Goblin Zeppelin to Undercity...
...Oh remind me to tell you about taking pot shots at those...
I raid the Undercity fleshworks and haul out a few tons of, um, stuff.
I get back to Thunder Bluff and whip out a nice steaming fresh batch of Great Super Tasty, Totally Non-harmful, Nom Noms Tables and they all chow down.
Now, how was I supposed to know just what "stuff" the Foresaken put in the "stuff" I took...
Next thing I know, it's a freaking Zombie Apocalypse in Thunder Bluff... undead cows everywhere!
It was udderly revolting... heh, get it, "udderly"... hehe... er...
[cough] so, of course, as Tauren are stupid cows, PETA shows up...
...I didn't bother with my crows, those zombie cows took care of them...heh.
Anyway, I found out the Grimtotem tribe was very pissed, they are working for the Tauren AND Forsaken.
So, um yeah, I had to get outa there fast.

Alakar: [munch] Oh my, you have the worst luck.
/eat
You wind up doing bad things, when all you have is good things on your mmmm... mmmmiii... mmmmmmiiinnnnnddd....

Kirika: Oh crap, was that table from the first or second batch?!?

Alakar: BBBBRRRWWWAAAAAAAAIINNNSSSSS!

Darkheelmet: ....next time... LISTEN TO ME AND CUT THE FREAKING LINE!!!!
/shoves Alakar into Umbrafen Lake.
/splash

Magatha Grimtotem: THERE IT IS, ATTACK!!!
Grimtotem tribesmen: FOR THE HORDE!!!

Kirika: Oh sheeeeiiit!
/cast Aspect of the Cheetah
Laterz, shorty. No time to punt. gotta run!
/run

Magatha Grimtotem runs by Darkheelmet, accidental hitting him with her hoof and punting him into Umbrafen Lake.

Kirika: BWAHAHHAHAHA GOOD ONE MAGGY!!!

Darkheelmet: ...sigh...
/splash


/end

--
"If you fear the heart of darkness, make way!"
Kirika, of the Noir

Quest for the perfect fishing hole......


/LOC: Darkmoon Island, Underwater cave, Northeastern sea shelf, depth 600 feet.
/Darkheelmet, attempting to find the perfect fishing spot.
/Swim: Surface inside cave air pocket.
OK, I heard about this submarine cave with a large air pocket from a Lich I Controlled Undead on awhile back.
No way that screwy Nigh.... err..
/Read: Sign; "Kirika's Completely Inconspicuous Super Secret Den of Hiding Stuff, #279014"
Damn it....
/Read: Smaller sign; "If you're an uninvited guest, you don't see 'nuthin, 'kay" engraved with a small stick figure man with an arrow through his head.
/Journal Entry: Add another big red "X" on the map.
...sigh...
OK, next place to check...
Mt. Hyjal Lava field with rumored steam geyser emanating from a pocket of water, under.....
/Receive Whisper: Alakar

Alakar: Hey friend, are you still looking for a place to fish?

Darkheelmet: It does appear to be an endless quest...

Alakar: I have found a place, want me to pick you up and show you?

Darkheelmet: Yes, that would be preferable to me having to swim back out of here....
/removes wriggling Mantis Shrimp from his helm.
Er...
/looks around, sees stacks and stacks of rusting Goblin Rocket Fuel drums, several of which are slowly leaking.
He isn't going to use "the trick".... is he?

/Portal: Mage Portal opens nearby with an explosive blast, belching sparks and smoke.
Alakar appears, covered with soot.
Hi, I'm...

/Darkheelmet jumps up and into Alakar's arms
PORT! OUT! NOW!

Alakar: What's the rush...
/Goblin Rocket Fuel ignites.
Oh...
/Fast Cast: Group Portal - Dalaraan

Meanwhile, at the Darkmoon Faire...
/Mega offshore explosion: BOOOOOOM!!
The Tauren Chieftains Band, lead signer: OK boys, that's our queue, we're on.
/Play: Power of the Horde concert.
/Several hundred tons of dead sea life begins to rain down on the crowd, who all begin moshing.
It was recorded that the day's concert was, quoting one gnomish warlock attendee, "Screw PETA, BEST CONCERT EVER!"

/LOC: Dalaraan Portal Room
Alakar appears, holding Darkheelmet.

Dalaraan Portal Custodian: Welcome to Dalaraan, madam, and what a beautiful baby you have.

Alakar: Listen, I'll have you know...

Darkheelmet: Just... Just put me down.

Alakar: I really do need a tux.
/sets down Darkheelmet.

Darkheelmet: OK, so we both narrowly escaped death and dismemberment, which would have been that screwy Night Elf's fault, and are now in Dalaraan...
I have been here many times before, there is no place to fish here.

Alakar: Ah, but there is friend. Follow me.

/Alakar leads the way to the town fountain.

Darkheelmet: Fish in the bird bath??

Alakar: Yes!
Plus there are two added bonuses.
Number one, this vender here offers fishing quests and most important, number two, this area is protected by Sanctuary spells.
There is no way "she" can hurt us here!

Darkheelmet: Wow... this might work!

The pair equip fishing poles and speak to the quest NPC.

Marcia Chase: Hail adventures, I have a task for you if you are willing.
Earlier there was a prison riot and one poor guard was injured by a vile prisoner, cutting off his arm.
It was last seen being gobbled up by a Slippery Eel.
If you are a skilled fisherman, can you catch the eel, recover the arm, and deliver it to Olisarra The Kind at the First Aid building?
Doing so may save the prison guards arm and career.

Darkheelmet: Sounds like a plan.... a bit gross, but a plan.

The pair accept the quest.

......an hour later.....

Darkheelmet: /Cast Fishing
I'm thinking that guard my be out of luck.
All I'm getting is Sickly Fish.
/Skill Fishing Catch: A Sickly Fish
Darkheelmet glares at the catch.
....She has been here....

Alakar: You're thinking into it too much.
Look, all I have caught is this pile of rusty shivs, empty booze bottles, broken keys, and shackle chains.
Obviously, the rioters have polluted the water and it's causing the fish to get sick.

Darkheelmet: Well, maybe your right.
Oh, this cardboard box sitting here... Is it yours?

Alakar: No, I thought it was yours?

The pair look closer at the box, they see it looks back at them.

Alakar: AAAAAAAH!! WHAT'S THAT!

Kirika, in the box: Shhhhh...

Darkheelmet: By Arthas.......no.......

Kirika: Hey, you two... keep it down.
I'm incognito.

Alakar: Oh... sorry... um, wait, what???

Kirika: Yeah, yah see, that riot earlier... that wasn't prisoners tryin' to break out to just escape.
They wuz trying to get away from her.

Alakar: Her?

Kirika: Yeah, my sister.

Darkheelmet: By the Gods, there is more of you??

Kirika: Well, sorta... she ain't my blood kin, we just... well...
She's my sis' and I owe her big time.
So, I'm gonna bust her out.
That way no more prisoners and guards get hurt.
I'm doin' good.

Alakar: How did you fit into that box?

Darkheelmet: Good... then do it on your own, we are not helping you.

Kirika: Nah... don't need help, I got this....
Just hold this a sec, 'kay.
/Give Alakar: Large Seaform Charge with lit fuse.

Alakar: Thanks, I'll... uh...
Wait! I don't want!
/toss to Darkheelmet

Darkheelmet: I don't want!
/toss to Alakar

Alakar: Aaaahh I don't want!!
/toss to Darkheelmet

Darkheelmet: I DON"T WANT!
/toss to Alakar

Alakar: NO NO NO NO I DON"T WANT!!!!!
/toss over wall
/Large Seaform Charge lands at prison wall.
BOOOOOOM!!!
Oh no... did I just...?
/Prison wall collapses

Kirika: WOOO HOO, THANKS CUTEY FOR BLOWING UP THE PRISON!
/jumps out of box.
JAIL BREAK!!!!!!

Lree: Oh, did I hear my amazing 'lil sister?

Kirika: Yes!!
/waves

Lree steps out of the rubble and smoke, a gnome warlock wearing engineering goggles.

Lree: You brought my badonkadonks?

Kirika tosses Lree a backpack.

Lree picks through the backpack.

Dalaraan guard 1: Halt Human Mage, your under arrest for blowing up the prison wall!
Dalaraan guard 2: Halt Human Mage, your under arrest for blowing up the prison wall!
Dalaraan guard 3: Halt Human Mage, your under arrest for blowing up the prison wall!
Dalaraan guard 4: Halt Human Mage, your under arrest for blowing up the prison wall!
Dalaraan guard 5: Halt Human Mage, your under arrest for blowing up the prison wall!
Dalaraan guard 6: Halt Human Mage, your under arrest for blowing up the prison wall!

Alakar: Waaahh???

Lree: Ah, there you are my little love muffin...
/Use: Mega Bomb 9000 - Nuclear Edition.
Lree: MAKE IT RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIINNN!!!!!

Kirika: Isn't she the coolest!!!
She taught me everything I know!
Squeeeeeeeee!

/Mega Bomb 9000 - Nuclear Edition - Effect: BBBBAAAAAAATTTTTTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMM!!!!
Everything goes black.

Minutes later, as the dust clears, Kirika and Lree are seen flying off in the distance on a drake.
Alakar is under a dog pile of guards.
Citizens and others are running, panicked.
What was the prison, is now nothing.
The ground, still shaking from the explosion, creaks and moans.
Darkheelmet, a bit dusty but unharmed, is standing by the fountain with his fishing pole.

Darkheelmet: .....wow.
/Journal Entry: Add another big red "X" on the map.
...sigh...

With a loud crack, the ground gives way under Darkheelmet, he falls through the floating island of Dalaraan.

Darkheelmet: ... oh, yeah... I was wondering when...

Dalaraan has punted Darkheelmet into the Mirror of Twilight Lake below.

/splash


/end

--
"If you fear the heart of darkness, make way!"
Kirika, of the Noir